Monday, February 25, 2008

Dear Lady Ophilia has written

Hello my dear lady Betsy, I am most concerned that you might be communicating with that Maggie woman. Please send me a note in your best quill pen and put my mind at rest that you have not succumbed to her persistent cards and emails. I heard that she might be trying to persuade you to go on line and speak to her over the internet. Oh dear. Has it really come to this? I also heard that you may have some woman living with you called Michelle? Dear you must be firm with these vagrants and not allow them to take over your life and your living space.
First it was the dog, and then that frightful Maggie woman who just would not leave. I mean you had to pack up an entire house and move to a smaller one just to get rid of her and still she was hanging around. I ask you. Some people just cannot take a hint. Thank heavens she moved back to Australia where they have no idea how to make a proper cup of tea. Mind you they have a slightly better idea than the Americans who cannot even boil the water properly. I mean how hard is it to boil water? No wonder they have got that silly George Bush running the country. I bet he can't boil water but he makes me boiling mad listening to his idiotic voice prattling on about his war in Iraq. I am certain the silly little man doesn't even know where Iraq is. He probably thinks it's a state of America.
Well I hear the kettle boiling now and the tea pot is ready so I must go.
I do miss you dear Lady. We had some lovely walks in the park even though you had that wretched hound with you.
Yours every truly,
Lady OSC.

3 comments:

kartika said...

Dear Lady O,
I show appreciate your concern. As usual you have shown your deep affection and concern for my circumstances. I must confide something to you of a very personal nature. I have recently visited my doctor here in America who has informed me he is most concerned I am suffering from some rare kind of personality disorder (I am shocked and, of course, a bit put off by his tone, that has given rise to confusion regarding my actually identity. It seems, my dear, at times I get myself confused with that aggravating Kartika woman, and somehow, my life has become intertwined, if you will, with hers. It seems from your recent letter that you may share a similar concern. Yes, it is true, some woman named Michele is residing at my small cottage, and has forced me to put my art studio in my dining room. She brings home Dove bars at night and we watch Netflick videos about a serial killer named Dexter (Quite engrossing if I do say so!) Now, my dear, I know this does not sound like me at all, and my doctor is quite concerned. Also, I have found myself sending e-cards to that Maggie person (I think she's a communist - aren't all film-makers these days?. And, I have only made tea once in the last week. I know, my dear, you will be most shocked to hear this, and I warn you to put your kettle on and get your china out before continuing to read more.
In addition to these horrors, Libbett has been showing up again (I seem to remember some problem regarding peanut butter and sunflower sees, oh well!) During times such as these, we always rely on our closest and dearest of friends, and I remain confident you will not forsake me.

In our Queen Mother's Service

Lady Betsy

Debs said...

being over the edge reading this leaves me wondering for us all, but there's a little smile on the edge on the right side of my mouth

wedgwood forever said...

My dear Lady Betsy,
I see you now have a BLOG. What an unfortunate turn of phrase. I suppose it could be worse if they had left the L out. Oh dear this is so worrisome. I just feel if you were drinking more tea you wouldn't need to visit these odd doctors and create BLOGS for yourself. You really must drop everything dear and get yourself into the nearest proper tea shop if such a thing exists in that God foresaken country where you so unfortunately have found yourself residing. Anyway we mustn't focus on that. Just buy yourself some decent tea leaves dear and get that kettle on the boil at your earliest convenience.
I remain most concerned.
yours ever faithfully
Lady O